Enter the Crime Scene! (Now looking for a new subconscious...)

Having a casual conversation...

Me: Well, hello there. This is where introductions are made right? I am not very good at them though. I don't know where should I even begin with...

Unknown Voice: Well, for starters you should start with what you would like people to call you. That should be so obvious.

Me: Who the hell are you?

Unknown Voice: We've been together for so long, it hurts that you still don't know! I'm your Subconscious you silly pants, you.

Me: My subconscious? Aren't you supposed to be ethereal and stuff... you know, inside my head?

Subconscious: We had a weak signal. It always seemed like I'd always be the voice in the back of your head, so I decided to come to the front!

* Subconscious smiles expectantly with bulging eyes.

Me: ...

*Long silence follows.

Me: Alright. Do what you want. So my name is CrimexJun-

Subconscious: That's not your name! Why are you lying to people?! His real name is Ki-

*Bludgeons with a baseball and stuffs in a sack. Fills in a glass cage with acid and throws sack in.

Me: Phew! Sorry about that.

* Bubbling and silent screams are heard inside the awkward silence

Me: Anyway, my name is CrimexJunkie and I'm 19 years old, but you can call me Junkie. I am first and foremost a writer, so I have a tendency to write somewhat large posts and I like to plot a lot. I have occasional orgasms when a character I make progresses and grows inside a story. I also like painting and drawing, but it's been so long since I've put them to good use so I am a little rusty. I also happen to be a very healthy eater (that's an innuendo for being fat) because I also happen to like cooking very much, but you probably didn't need to know that and I think I'm doing it again. So without further ado, that's me in a nutshell.